Give another try

pancake again?! hahahaa.. actually my first-pancake wasn't sucess, it didn't have volume and hard to handle just like omelete too slight, and much easier to make scramble, eheee... okay let say that was pityful pancake, what's wrong? another day, without recipe, without measure I combine the ingredients and tadaaaa... the looks meet expectation, pluffy and had volume, delicious, hummm not bad, but actually I'm not talking about pancake anyway, I'm talking about Trying. Well, actually I get easily depressed and hide it when something not goin' my way. Pretending that was okay is too painful, and hard, but the hardest one is move and give another try to your self, trust your self that you can make it someday. As time goes by, I should learn what I had yesterday and today. I remember the first time I get frustated is on senior high school, when my friend and I apply the same university, STT Telkom, bandung... too bad, I was failed and my friend was accepted. that time just like the end of the day, it was a big hit for me, my heart broken, I cried as loud as I can, my parents can help when I cry, hahaha... I cry for them actually, that time I think I was failed to make them proud of their only child. until my dad said "it's okay, stop crying,!!" with angry. I stop crying. Thanks for my beloved people around me, for understanding and keep pushing me move forward, on the next time I apply for STMB Telkom bandung, and accepted :-) the day I have to move to bandung is the day when SPMB issue the result, my mom insist me to check the result and... I accepted in state university, IPB. that time, once again... I get confused, for my mom it's actually no choice IPB much better than Telkom, I knew it. The problem come when I doubt my ability to struggle in state university, I might not be the best... but in private university, I might able to reach it, feels like sit in 2 chairs and ready to fall, maybe I already told it on my previous post I decided IPB. I don't care about "farmer", "spades", word, some people underestimate agriculture, agriculture related to uneducated works, "why don't you go to higher education, while in the ends you do the un-edicated work?" someone who said that must be regret, regret for his bad-thought of agriculture, don't you think that agriculture needs more science to improved our daily-basic-needs? you must be proud of them who had visionary thoughts like that, nah?!

okay, the first year on IPB goin well, my expectation not being the best accomplished, that's the way it is.. But it's okay, being average, and can survive there. The problem came when I choose major of university (choosen at 2nd year) I was accepted on soil science, again.. I was sooo disapointed, angry, frustated with question mark in head "why?" that's not what I want!! can I make it?! a-18years-old-girl crying helplessly in front of her mom, out of control because I didn't get what I want, I'm sorry to make you sad mom...sad because crying so loud in front of you and never listen what you said to me that time, I realized that there's no use while I made my parents confused... hahahhhaaa, silly, but it's true, soil science is my 5th choice of 32 list of majors. ah, that was what I want? I dunno... ha-ha-ha

In the end, I studied on my major hapilly, easily, and more specific, unique than other, though it takes 9 smesters to finished it, thanks for my parents not to burden me with their perfection, still give their time, love, and patience... I love you, you are the best parents in the world, ever!

Graduated, it's not about state/private university, it's not about choosing one major of 32, you can cry if you can't get it.. but to choose your career among 1000 choice, there's no time to 22-years-old-girl crying in front of her mom, it's part of real life... makes each pieces as path of what you achive....it's just like...making pancake, however the unsucessfull shape bring you into the perfect shape as your wish,

Counting down of 2010

My bad I can't remember what happen for a single month very well. Some photo documentation help me by its date. So I try to digiscrap- photos of 2010 per months, and totally makes me tired and get a lil' bit dizzy doing scrap, shorting, recall, memorize, anything at the same time, 12 frames, but finally done. hummm... not bad I think.... (ya to be honest it's not good, hiehehehee) enjoy this,

January... almost a year ago huh? I'm sorry I can't remember what might be special on this month, but my photo documentation told me that I started 2010 with my lovely friends, piska n mbem at my father's friend cottage in puncak/ciawi, big enough and had a good scene of mt. and the park also interesting, we can't stand to take a picture, there's no tv in this cottage, so at night we totally chit chat, eating and enjoy the scene untill we fall asleep... uh, I'm sorry, I think we watch korean drama on my laptop anyway... ikikikikk the first group of activity is the older's one..

February, looks like the "warming up-month" for my research, in this month I started sampling for research from west java to (almost) east java in just 5 days, it's fun, we got about 19 samples, culinary and visiting each city's square also. Another activity is laboratory training, it just take 2-3 days (I'm sorry, my bad.. to forget it) but I remember that I was late for the first day, ffiiuuhhh I almost can't get in... after I get my cetificate for laboratory training. I started make trial error for my sample... it's quite horrible and takes time.

March. My photo files had laboratory activity in this month, so I guess we find the method started doing extraction after doing trial error. so overall... this is a laboratory month, and takes time to discuss the right method with my advisor lecturer, and hey we invented the simple and cheap method to extract nano fraction, see? hummm... my archieve on march showed that I started make a blog named "Catatan Tingkat Akhir" wohooo... idealsm started.

April. Still about my research, when extracting on progress and had laboratory activity on this month, some result makes data, and I need to go another step from beginning, and of courese it need reference : BOOK. Okay, ready to hear this? It's my another first time going to university library after 3 years in IPB and it's also the first time I apply for kartu perpustakaan for borrowed the book. uhh...shame on me, even the librarian laugh at me for being soooo latee...and lazy (maybe) hihihiii

May. I think I need a holiday with my family. The date on picture files told so. Having fun due to my mother's family gathering from her office, takes place in Ciater, west Java. Good place, good view and so many outbond activity, not too dangerous and not too chalenging, only fun... hahahaa... what else happen in mayy?? even in my blog echieve didn't tell anything but my research.. so, I still busy with my research..

June. My Birthday-month, just celebrate it with my family and my best friends. I think it's too much for 22-years-old-girl having celebration like this. but thank you anyway and thank God, You still blessed me with lovely people around me, hummmm... what makes june so special except my birthday, ahhh... my bad, I forget it... I'm sorry... the blog achive shows that I'm getting frustated with my research...

July. it's Piska's b'day. we made a little surprise for her, and it works... hahahaha even in complicated way, but overall the mission is acomplised. And based on blog achive (ahh...blog helped me so much to recall my memories) I think this month I had another activity beside research, like attending bookfair, make over my room... and hey, I'm oficially becoming commuter, check this out...

August. It's fasting month, if I'm not mistaken. Hmmmm.... I was planning to make reunion of my elementary school's friend, it kind of difficult to make they come, but it awfuly succesed, almost all of my friends come to my house. well the price is paid when I invited the door to door. To be honest, being even organizer is not easy, hahahahaa... it's just the small even, but I get confused within...

October! yiahhahaaa...don't ask where september go, I'll tell if I'm ready... soooo, october I think I'm spending 2010 with my two lovely friend mbem and piska, haa, what makes october special? yet, It's another first time I go to TMII and enchanted by its comlplextion and its beauty heritage (ahahaha lebay). thanks mama for taking me in her belitong reunion, so many belitongs and belitong's food here. My curiosity of learning culture is fulfilled. I have to come back here later...

November. Many things happen in this month, (ahaaaa... it's just because my memories of november still in head, anyway) it's my father's bday, my parents' anniversary..... and, my seminar (finally) succesfully held. yeaayy...! hummmm....I forget (againnnn) wheter on october or november I started the TOEFL preparation, and also started ride BIBOP, and becoming my last-2-months-busiest activity...

ahhh...finally December. Two or maybe three special things happen, first... I met kitties, and the second it's my graduation month, Alhamdulillahhh... thank God, I can make it in the end of the year, so what's the third?! (ahhh.... it's just a hope actually) May Allah give the way to get my career on 2011..amiiinnn..

SO, it's just 12 months, that I'm passing by, I learn so much....and of course it's a really special year for me, my turning point of 2010,and september.... I want to keep you for another year...

Yesterday is History, Tommorow is a mystery, and Today is a gift, that is way it is called present, isn't?

do you remember?

end at 328

I get busy soon, to get my SKL (surat keterangan lulus) deadline at least this year, I thought it could be done in just 1 or 2 days, but as a matter a fact, quite complicated and I try to organize them. I love to organize, it makes me easier doing all thing but when I get home, they are in a mess....

and today, is the turning point, just need 15 minutes to do the SKL from rectorate. what else? from busiest into quite, sit in silence, alone in rectorate with graduation form in my hand, 2 months to go... looks like end at 328, but this is my "ticket" to the real life, it just started....

Too Naive

okay, where to start.. lately I got at least two phenomenon? incident? or what? something that lead to conclusion I was too naive to face those things, my friend said

world is full of bad guy

first incident happen when I ride BIBOP to campus, I hit the deep hole and looks like it the cause of my tire collapse, hummm okay, alone, I count my self to make it, stay cool, at least I know what to do, go to baggage, take the extra tire and jack, and call my dad, I started panic, because I was late and got some trouble here, I just expect my dad give some instruction to do that, just to make sure I do the right step, but my dad keep asking me to search people to give some help, okay... I just make my dad panic too... later, I calm down

inspite of late, I called k' dedi to told that I might be late to campus because my tire is collapse, but it makes k'dedi ask where I am, and want to help me out... another one is panic,

just me and my self on the road, analize if I put jack on the right position, and it works, okay next changing the tire, while my half-work done, someone come to me and help me out, ahhh thank God anyway, while he changing my tire we had some chat, and finally done.

to be honest I just don't know what to do, I just say many many thank to him, after he gone away, soon I got in car, it was raining...sit in silence, I just feel something that I supossed to do, I looked my phone, there are so many missed call from my dad and k'dedi, then I called my dad, told everything okay, someone had helped me out... and my father remind me, did I give some money to man who helped me? "nope" I said "should I?" (okay, it silly question anyway) I just replaced if I were him, if I want to help someone, just help. I didn't expect more, I might be offended if someone gave me money.

maybe this thoughts is totally wrong, I was too naive, people aren't the same. If he need it, I'm sorry, because I was too naive, I just pray from deep inside my heart that the man who helped me got more than just money after helped me, amiiin...

the extra tire need more air, still in feeling sorry because I didn't give money to that man, I go to tire shop to fill the tire with air, ya I know I should pay for this, rite? I did this before, but in fact it's free...ahhhh what a strange day,

I forgot to called k'dedi, hiahhh.... where is he? it's raining too.. he is on the way, and I asked him to get back to campus, thank you and I'm sorry k dedi....

and the second incident is exactly happen yesterday, a motorcycle hit my mom's car, I was there too, it's horrible, seeing the rider meet the aspahlt right in front of us, it's totally shocking moment for me, I can't stand imagine what happen next, the man is old enough, and riding the motorcycle with full speed. Well, of course we get a little chaos here, thanks God it's just a little scracth on him, he still can stand and grumbling, of course the man who felt guilty will tell more alibi without being asked.

Motorcycle vs car, sometime motorcycle always claimed being victim because the damage and risk is higher. Sick and tired listening the argument, with smiley face I take him to clinic (I was acting to make him stop mumbling). he looks a little surprised, and calm up. At the clinic he admit that he ride motorcycle fast. Okay, mission completed that sometime you don't need extra muscle to make someone admit his fault, people in the dark always dazzled with (even) a little shine. Anyway, I think we have done our responsibility, it left a bad damage too in my mom's car, worse than his motorcycle. Fair. But you know what, when his friend came, he tell the opposite thing and keep asking the compesation to my mom, I think it's the beginning of exortion.

hhhh....I get mad, and sorry to say, this is make the educated and non-educated people different, "educated" here mean their behaviour, the good people, will makes good impact to their life too. non-educated behaviour makes someone bad. Well, world is full with bad guy, and some trouble caused by bad guy, and need bad-way-solution too, to make it, should we??

everybody is goin' crazy...let God deal with the things they do.

My Lover too

He is my number one lover ...Si Ganteng

I don't have any particular name for cat actually, I'm not the creative one giving name for pet, as I remember, my former cat named Mi Obeng (because the sound when he mew is rough just like swallowed screwdriver), Pussy- the common name, miu-another common name, cuty (how I spell it, comes from "cute", and -ty as prefix) just say it is so...

The Most Gentle Cat Ever !

yes he is, if he was a human, he must be handsome and gentle one, he's cool too... well, actually si Ganteng is wild cat, he just come around my home and take a nap, or just pass by, the first time I met him, when I took his picture while he was sleeping, since I know he is wild cat I don't make any move in order to make him stay and didn't distrubed, as a matter a fact he just stay cool when I stepped closer and try to touch him, and he also love camera... the cooperative relationship is built,

hummmmm....but you're smell bad ganteng, I can't stand close to you...go take a bath!

*but you're still the coolest cat ever....

My Lover

okay... let's start with sing (in bingo rhyme) ..hahahaa

There was a neighbor who had a dog,
And Cacong was his name-o.
C-A-C-O-N-G
C-A-C-O-N-G

C-A-C-O-N-G
And Cacong was his name-o.

I fall in love with my neighbor's dog, and I think the owner hadn't given his dog name yet, so when I asked what is his dog's name, he just said "cacong!" heee.. maybe he thought I didn't notice, and the next day I called the dog "cacong" the owner laugh at me and repeat saying "cacong" hear the strange name that actually he didn't realize he said before... rrrr...

I love playing with cacong, once I know I can't touch him freely... and I can't stand when he lonesome and howling, then I come closer to him his tail move fastly and get excited, whoaaaa.. I get I excited too!, that's how pet can built up emotionally relationship with human, unfortunately his owner doesn't give him much attention.....how come he can stand looking these puppy's eyes?

Pack Up

I get tired
And upset
And i’m trying to care a little less....

Pack up your troubles in you old kit bag
And bury them beneath the sea
I don’t care what the people may say
What the people may say about me
Pack up your troubles get your old grin back
Don’t worry ’bout the cavalry
I don’t care what the whisperers say
Cos’ they whisper too loud for me.....

ada kalanya masalah keliatan bener-bener kayak sampah dan emang pantes dibuang, if it so,never regret the decision taken from your heart yang saya buang emang yang jelek-jeleknya dan mulai menjalani hal yang sbenernya udah males saya lakuin lagi and pretend as if there's nothing happen.

done :)

I enjoyed the trouble as I enjoyed this song,

Danbo and Photography

ini danbo yang asli, diadaptasi dari komik yotsuba, setelah liat-liat disini ternyata saya bener2 naksir sama si danbo ini, berhubung mahal, dan cuma bisa dibeli di internet, dan adaa sii papercraft nya, (kalo gitu ditambah lagi deh, berhubung saya juga ga kreatif, hehehe) saya jadi inget sama bonus educomic yang saya punya, bentuknya agak2 mirip sii.... cuma agak bantet dan lagi pake kostum spiderman hehehehe (it's totally different kalo gitu ya), cekidot foto danbo jadi2an ala saya...@ flickr

that's why I love this much

weee... narsis bikin badge loly's pop sendiri,

ini kamera Nikon D5000 saya emang ngangenin dan saya udah kehabisan model, si ganteng teruusss yang jadi sasaran, atau liat di post saya tentang Model and Photography entah apa aliran photografi saya, saya suka yang simple2 aja, seminimal mungkin di edit, permainan zoom aja, dan yang paling saya peratiin adalah momentnya itu sendiri, hummm kamera ini terlalu professional buat saya, apalagi software buat editnya instan banget, tema-tema photo saya juga blum berkembang, masih yang itu2 aja karna mental buat ngambil foto ditengah-tengah keramaian blum berani, selalu aja saya dengerin comment2 orang yang difoto ato orang sekitar...ada yg terimaaa...ada yang ga suka...wuaaahh dilema, next mission saya harus bisa, karna saya lebih tertarik sama potret kehidupan sosial, hummph...

foto terakhir yang saya ambil si unyuu unyuu my baby boy : si ganteng lagi tidur siang... kalo lagi begini kelakuan bandelnya ilang deh..

"Memoirs of Imperfection"

judul blog saya berubaaaaah..., Memoirs of Imperfection judul yang sempurna menurut saya kata2nya diambil dari judul album mariah carey yang belakangan ini sering saya denger, cukup berpengaruh dengan suasana hati saya dan kata-kata ini nempel banget di kepala saya,

kalo mau disambung-sambungin sama perjalanan blog saya ini, blog ini mengalami malfungsi sebagai catatan tingkat akhir dimana tujuan awal blog ini dibuat sebagai jurnal penelitian saya, humm yang ada blog ini penuh sama postingan ga jelas, kata halusnya saya tag jadi pemikiran,

don't mean it, tapi inilah catatan dari ketidaksempurnaan saya,

Scraphoto?

saya lupa apa ini namanya ya? biasanya bikin di scrapblog dalam bentuk digital, awalnya saya sering liat di mall2 yg displaynya lebih atraktif (saya lupa lagi apa namanya, eheee) lebih berkontur dan ada efek 3D, udah lama saya tertarik sama, sebut aja scraphoto, awalnya gara-gara nonton film UP, scrapbook punya ellie, semua kenangan ada disitu... wow berhubung saya orang yang ketekunannya diragukan, jadi saya bikin yang jangka pendek sajaa, kayak scraphoto ini, lumayan harganya 1 frame bisa 150 ribu'an di toko pertama saya liat, kemaren jalan di bandung nemu juga yg harganya 49 ribu, ukuran A4 hasilnya yaaa kayak ini, saya ga beli tambahan ornamennya, karna menurut saya ini juga udah rame, eheeee efek timbulnya saya bikin dari double 3M.

hummm sepertinya saya salah memilih tema, bukan bermaksud narsis.. awalnya saya mau masukin foto hasil jepretan saya as my treasure, tau -taunya snaps of me... (ga penting juga, hahahaa)

It's a wrap

It's a wrap!

untuk sementara ini.. haahaha tapi saya seneng banget (sampe gabisa tidur inii) bisa nyelesein draft skripsi saya ini total bener-bener 3 hari lhoo...wow, biar kata baru 89%'an lah, karna data yang diolah blum kelar juga...hahahaa yg ini urusan dosen saya yg lebih berpengalaman menghandle data saya yang beantakan inii..

uwoooooo... saya sedikit terharu waktu ngetik riwayat hidup saya sendiri...

....Penulis lahir pada tanggal 19 Juni 1988 di Bandung, Jawa Barat sebagai putri tunggal dari Ayah bernama Ir. Nursyirwan Muluk dan Ibu bernama Ir. Rahwati Helmi...

hummm..biasa sii, tapi waktu saya nulis itu, saya bisa ngebayangin perasaan orang tua saya kalo baca skripsi saya ini (kalo udah jadi), hahhaaa...ketemu juga motivasi buat nyelesein hal yang paling males saya sentuh belakangan ini, kalo landasan saya nulis karna suka sama materi penelitian saya ini, bisa-bisa berubah format skripsi saya jadi blog (pengalaman)