Give another try

pancake again?! hahahaa.. actually my first-pancake wasn't sucess, it didn't have volume and hard to handle just like omelete too slight, and much easier to make scramble, eheee... okay let say that was pityful pancake, what's wrong? another day, without recipe, without measure I combine the ingredients and tadaaaa... the looks meet expectation, pluffy and had volume, delicious, hummm not bad, but actually I'm not talking about pancake anyway, I'm talking about Trying. Well, actually I get easily depressed and hide it when something not goin' my way. Pretending that was okay is too painful, and hard, but the hardest one is move and give another try to your self, trust your self that you can make it someday. As time goes by, I should learn what I had yesterday and today. I remember the first time I get frustated is on senior high school, when my friend and I apply the same university, STT Telkom, bandung... too bad, I was failed and my friend was accepted. that time just like the end of the day, it was a big hit for me, my heart broken, I cried as loud as I can, my parents can help when I cry, hahaha... I cry for them actually, that time I think I was failed to make them proud of their only child. until my dad said "it's okay, stop crying,!!" with angry. I stop crying. Thanks for my beloved people around me, for understanding and keep pushing me move forward, on the next time I apply for STMB Telkom bandung, and accepted :-) the day I have to move to bandung is the day when SPMB issue the result, my mom insist me to check the result and... I accepted in state university, IPB. that time, once again... I get confused, for my mom it's actually no choice IPB much better than Telkom, I knew it. The problem come when I doubt my ability to struggle in state university, I might not be the best... but in private university, I might able to reach it, feels like sit in 2 chairs and ready to fall, maybe I already told it on my previous post I decided IPB. I don't care about "farmer", "spades", word, some people underestimate agriculture, agriculture related to uneducated works, "why don't you go to higher education, while in the ends you do the un-edicated work?" someone who said that must be regret, regret for his bad-thought of agriculture, don't you think that agriculture needs more science to improved our daily-basic-needs? you must be proud of them who had visionary thoughts like that, nah?!

okay, the first year on IPB goin well, my expectation not being the best accomplished, that's the way it is.. But it's okay, being average, and can survive there. The problem came when I choose major of university (choosen at 2nd year) I was accepted on soil science, again.. I was sooo disapointed, angry, frustated with question mark in head "why?" that's not what I want!! can I make it?! a-18years-old-girl crying helplessly in front of her mom, out of control because I didn't get what I want, I'm sorry to make you sad mom...sad because crying so loud in front of you and never listen what you said to me that time, I realized that there's no use while I made my parents confused... hahahhhaaa, silly, but it's true, soil science is my 5th choice of 32 list of majors. ah, that was what I want? I dunno... ha-ha-ha

In the end, I studied on my major hapilly, easily, and more specific, unique than other, though it takes 9 smesters to finished it, thanks for my parents not to burden me with their perfection, still give their time, love, and patience... I love you, you are the best parents in the world, ever!

Graduated, it's not about state/private university, it's not about choosing one major of 32, you can cry if you can't get it.. but to choose your career among 1000 choice, there's no time to 22-years-old-girl crying in front of her mom, it's part of real life... makes each pieces as path of what you achive....it's just like...making pancake, however the unsucessfull shape bring you into the perfect shape as your wish,

Bike...Bike....Bike...!

ahaa! I have similiar pictures here... When I was child, riding my 3-wheel-bicycle, my first bike anyway... then I had another bike when I was on elementary school, and nowaday when I graduated from university, on bachelor degree, my father still bought bicycle for me...Thank you, I love youuu daaadd...

Do you remember rollerblade or scooter? it used to be famous, rite? I even had rollerblade too, I used to think that playing rollerblade is cool, like celebrity do, ahaaa (lebay), but it took no longer, the bicycle-mode still exist, I don't know why, but in my opinion bicycle is most useful than other... and thanks for people who thinks "green" and take bicycle as solution for transportation, make it nowaday-lifestyle...

I think goverment should support by making bicycle-way (is it right? what does it call?) and proper pedestrian, I'm sure everyone will use it if they are comfort within, like their own vehicle... yahh..Bad habit of indonesian, they get a little bit lazy to walk from nearest shelter to their destination, so public car, like bus or angkot can stopped wherever they want and it cause traffic jam too. The volume of vehicle is getting bigger every year, but in other side the road- growth can't handle situation. So the only solution is public transportation, but some factors ruin the image of public transportation like vadalism, criminal on public car, prestige (maybe) of having car, and also uncomfortable means. Some country had good transportation system, this video showed japan's bike storage... ahhh I wish I can used subway and riding bicycle through destination..I know...I'm in developing country now, I have to wait... to see how indonesian's subway lookslike

Yesterday, I ride Mico with kitties...

Isn't it cute? huaaaa the basket had special task, to put all 4 kitties in... they are not used to take a ride on bicycle, they can stay for a little journey and then burst up, hahahaa...be nice to mico, and I think perry started to enjoy the ride,

my mood-booster

hey... there's something new at my desk,

look closer....

closer...and closer...

yup... young family on graduation day... what a lovely picture, when my mom was 25 and my dad 28, and little-me wore graduation hat was 2 years-old... I feel hope, passion, happiness, dream, struggle, successful, flower... ahhh any word can describe? such mood-booster for me when I sick and tired doing my thesis, so... it's on purpose I put my to do-list between those photos...looking little-me wear graduation hat, looks like my parents' hope,the passion to complete their study is soo big, in case postpone for married and having a child, it's happiness when they took the dream with struggle. This is a picture of successful that I must achive, you're biggest motivator for me, I'm so proud having parents like you, you're the best parents ever!

with love,

Lovely Monday Morning

Good morning! it's monday morning and Love is in the air... I feel blessed when I woke up this morning,

the routines that I had...

like mom's yell or daddy's tickle to wake me up...

had shower and drink a cup of tea, made by mom

having breakfast with dad's chooice whoooaa fried banana is today's menu,

and when my mom made the busy-morning atmosphere at home to prepare my lunch box (rrrt..college student, still need it anyway)

and make sure I'm not get hungry in the campus, what kind of place she thought I would go to?!, it's just campus

when my father started to warm up the engine, checked whether the fuel is full, and kind of macine stuff so my car is ready to go,

this is too much, and I sink of their love... a 22-years-old-girl still had those things, uncommon..

I love to see mt. pangrango at sentul highway, and fortunatelly I go to the oposite dirrection of busiest route : jakarta-bogor,

I love to sing along in the car

I love to race at highway (ooopps)

I love to see my greeny campus

I love to sit at the coolsite

I love to meet my everyday-partner (hahahaa..3 of us as one item)

I love to eat my mom's lunch box

I don't know why, but today I feel "soon I will miss these things"...

Happy Anniversary!!

quick update! hari ini mama sama papa ulang tahun pernikahan, ciyeeee...si mama so sweet bgt beli kue sendiri, maafkan anakmu ini yang sibuk hari ini ya ma, baru pulang malem, pulang2 udah ada kue...

I love you, mom & dad cup cupp muaaahh

with love,

Father's Gift

berangkat ke kampus tadi pagi, di dalam kereta saya duduk di depan ayah sama anaknya, emang sih kalo cowo tu ngejaga anak keliatan lebih ribet yaaa...ehehehe tapi saya bisa liat tangannya yang kekar siap menjaga anaknya yang blingsatan gak mau diem, cara si ayah memeluk anak, cara si ayah ngasih tau supaya si anak diem atau tadi konsultasi sama dosen saya yang super sibuk, tapi begitu terima telpon dari anaknya, beliau selalu punya waktu untuk anaknya,...

hmmm....banyak hal yang tentang ayah yang mungkin saya gak tau, tiba2 saya inget tulisan ini....

dengan tidak mengurangi rasa sayang saya pada mama...

Biasanya anak-anak yg jauh dari orang tuanya merasa kangeen sekali dgn mamanya.

Lalu bagimana dgn papa?

Mungkin mama lebih sering menanyakan keadaan anaknya setiap hari .tp taukah kamu jika papamu yg mengingatkannya utk menelfonmu?

Mgkn mama yg lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita,tp taukah kamu sepulangnya ia bekerja dgn wajah lelah ia selalu menanyakan kabarmu dari mama mu?

waktu kecil..

Papa mengajari putri kecilnya bermain sepeda. Setelah dia mengganggap kamu bisa ia melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu, Saat itu mama menutup mata karena takut anaknya terjatuh lalu terluka.tp ayah dgn yakin menatapmu mengayuh sepeda dgn pelan karena dia tahu putri kecilnya pasti bisa.

Saat kamu menangis meronta meminta boneka yg baru,mama menatapmu iba,tetapi ayah mengatakan dgn tegas "kita beli nanti,tapi tidak sekarang" karena ia tidak ingin kamu menjadi manja dgn semua tuntutan yg selalu di penuhi.

ketika kamu remaja

kamu mulai menuntut utk keluar malam. Lalu papa mulai bersikap lebih tegas ketika mengatakan "tidak".

itu utk menjagamu karena kamu adalah sesuatu yg berharga.

Lalu kamu masuk ke kamar membanting pintu.

Tp yg dtg mengetok pintu dan membujuk mu adalah mama.

Taukah kamu saat itu dia memejamkan matanya dan menahan diri,karena Dia sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu. Tp lagi2 dia harus menjagamu.

saat seorang cowok mulai sering datang mencarimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia. Dan sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kmu sdg brdua di ruang tamu. Tahukah kmu dia merasa cemburu?

dan saat dia melonggarkan sedikit peraturan, kamu melanggar jam malamnya. Ia duduk di ruang tamu menunggu mu pulang dgn sangat2 khawatir. Wajah khawatir itu mengeras ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang terlalu larut. Dia marah. Karena hal yg di takutinya akhirnya datang "putri kecilnya sudah tidak ada lg"

saat papa sedikit memaksamu utk menjd seorang dokter. Ketahuilah bahwa ia hanya memikirkan masa depanmu nanti. Tp toh dia tetap tersenyum saat pilihanmu adalah menjd seorang penulis.

sampai saat papa harus melepasmu di bandara. Bahkan badannya terlalu kaku utk memelukmu. Ia hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini-itu. Dia ingin menangis seperti mama yg menangis dan memelukmu erat. Tp dia hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "jaga diri baik2". Agar kamu kuat utk pergi.

saat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yg mengerutkan kening adalah Papa. Berusaha mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dgn yg lain.

ketika permintaanmu bukan lg sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan ia tau ia tidak bisa memberikan. Dia sangat ingin mengatakan "iya nak,nanti kita beli" dan saat kata2 yg keluar adalah "tidak bisa" dari bibirnya. Tahukah kamu Ia merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum.

saat kamu sakit dan tidak berada di dekatnya. Papa terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak berkata "sudah di blg jgn minum air dingin!".berbeda dgn mama yg memperhatikanmu dgn lembut.

ketahuilah saat itu ia benar2 khawatir dgn keadaanmu.

dan di saatnya nanti kamu wisuda sebagai seorang sarjana. Papa adalah org pertama yg berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan utk mu. Dia yg tersenyum bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yg tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"

sampai saat seorang teman hidupmu datang dan meminta izin mengambilmu darinya. Papa akan sangat berhati2 memberikan izin.karena ia tau laki2 itu yg nanti akan menggantikannya.

dan saat Papa melihat mu duduk di panggung pernikahan bersama seseorang yg di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya. Papa pergi kebelakang panggung,dan menangis "tugasku telah selesai dgn baik.putri kecilku yg lucu telah menjadi wanita yg cantik"

Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatangan mu dan cucu2nya sesekali utk menjenguknya. Dgn rambut yg telah memutih dan badan yg tak lagi kuat utk menjagamu dari bahaya.

papa adalah sosok yg harus selalu terlihat kuat bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat utk tdk menangis. Harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. papa jg orang pertama yg selalu yakin bahwa "kamu bisa" dalam hal apapun.

tersenyum dan bersyukurlah ketika kamu bisa merasakan kasih syg seorang papa hingga tugasnya selesai.kmu adalah salah satu org yg beruntung. Karna papa adalah sosok superhero yg hebat

saya suka lagu two of us nya will smith, krang lebih begini ya versi ayah sayang sama anaknya, ehehehe...

(Now dad this is a very sensitive subject)
From the first time the doctor placed you in my arms
I knew I'd meet death before I'd let you meet harm
Although questions arose in my mind, would I be man enough?
Against wrong, choose right and be standin up
From the hospital that first night
Took a hour just ta get the carseat in right
People drivin all fast, got me kinda upset
Got you home safe, placed you in your basonette
That night I don't think one wink I slept
As I slipped out my bed, to your crib I crept
Touched your head gently, felt my heart melt
Cause I know I loved you more than life itself
Then to my knees, and I begged the Lord please
Let me be a good daddy, all he needs
Love, knowledge, discipline too
I pledge my life to you

Chorus:

Just the two of us, we can make it if we try
Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)
Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
Just the two of us, you and I

Verse 2: Will Smith

Five years old, bringin comedy
Everytime I look at you I think man, a little me
Just like me
Wait an see gonna be tall
Makes me laugh cause you got your dads ears an all
Sometimes I wonder, what you gonna be
A General, a Doctor, maybe a MC
Haha, I wanna kiss you all the time
But I will test that butt when you cut outta line, trudat
Uh-uh-uh why you do dat?
I try to be a tough dad, but you be makin me laugh
Crazy joy, when I see the eyes of my baby boy
I pledge to you, I will always do
Everything I can
Show you how to be a man
Dignity, integrity, honor an
An I don't mind if you lose, long as you came with it
An you can cry, ain't no shame in it
It didn't work out with me an your mom
But yo, push come to shove
You was conceived in love
So if the world attacks, and you slide off track
Remember one fact, I got your back

Chorus

Verse 3: Will Smith

It's a full-time job to be a good dad
You got so much more stuff than I had
I gotta study just to keep with the changin times
101 Dalmations on your CD-ROM
See me-I'm
Tryin to pretend I know
On my PC where that CD go
But yo, ain't nuthin promised, one day I'll be gone
Feel the strife, but trust life does go wrong
But just in case
It's my place
To impart
One day some girl's gonna break your heart
And ooh ain't no pain like from the opposite sex
Gonna hurt bad, but don't take it out on the next, son
Throughout life people will make you mad
Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too
Always tell the truth, say your prayers
Hold doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears
You're living proof that dreams do come true
I love you and I'm here for you

Chorus to fade
(This is a good song dad, how much am I gettin paid for this?)