Give another try

pancake again?! hahahaa.. actually my first-pancake wasn't sucess, it didn't have volume and hard to handle just like omelete too slight, and much easier to make scramble, eheee... okay let say that was pityful pancake, what's wrong? another day, without recipe, without measure I combine the ingredients and tadaaaa... the looks meet expectation, pluffy and had volume, delicious, hummm not bad, Onion Icons but actually I'm not talking about pancake anyway, I'm talking about Trying. Well, actually I get easily depressed and hide it when something not goin' my way. Pretending that was okay is too painful, and hard, but the hardest one is move and give another try to your self, trust your self that you can make it someday. As time goes by, I should learn what I had yesterday and today. I remember the first time I get frustated is on senior high school, when my friend and I apply the same university, STT Telkom, bandung... too bad, I was failed and my friend was accepted. that time just like the end of the day, it was a big hit for me, my heart broken, I cried as loud as I can, my parents can help when I cry, hahaha... I cry for them actually, that time I think I was failed to make them proud of their only child. until my dad said "it's okay, stop crying,!!" with angry. I stop crying. Thanks for my beloved people around me, for understanding and keep pushing me move forward, on the next time I apply for STMB Telkom bandung, and accepted :-) the day I have to move to bandung is the day when SPMB issue the result, my mom insist me to check the result and... I accepted in state university, IPB. that time, once again... I get confused, for my mom it's actually no choice IPB much better than Telkom, I knew it. The problem come when I doubt my ability to struggle in state university, I might not be the best... but in private university, I might able to reach it, feels like sit in 2 chairs and ready to fall, maybe I already told it on my previous post I decided IPB. I don't care about "farmer", "spades", word, some people underestimate agriculture, agriculture related to uneducated works, "why don't you go to higher education, while in the ends you do the un-edicated work?" someone who said that must be regret, regret for his bad-thought of agriculture, don't you think that agriculture needs more science to improved our daily-basic-needs? you must be proud of them who had visionary thoughts like that, nah?!
okay, the first year on IPB goin well, my expectation not being the best accomplished, that's the way it is.. But it's okay, being average, and can survive there. The problem came when I choose major of university (choosen at 2nd year) I was accepted on soil science, again.. I was sooo disapointed, angry, frustated with question mark in head "why?" that's not what I want!! can I make it?! a-18years-old-girl crying helplessly in front of her mom, out of control because I didn't get what I want, I'm sorry to make you sad mom...sad because crying so loud in front of you and never listen what you said to me that time, I realized that there's no use while I made my parents confused... hahahhhaaa, silly, but it's true, soil science is my 5th choice of 32 list of majors. Onion Icons ah, that was what I want? I dunno... ha-ha-ha
In the end, I studied on my major hapilly, easily, and more specific, unique than other, though it takes 9 smesters to finished it, thanks for my parents not to burden me with their perfection, still give their time, love, and patience... I love you, you are the best parents in the world, ever!
Graduated, it's not about state/private university, it's not about choosing one major of 32, you can cry if you can't get it.. but to choose your career among 1000 choice, there's no time to 22-years-old-girl crying in front of her mom, it's part of real life... makes each pieces as path of what you achive....it's just like...making pancake, however the unsucessfull shape bring you into the perfect shape as your wish,


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